Getting Married at 65+ (2023)

By Locke Hughes |

There’s no age limit for love and romance—but there are important points to consider before you tie the knot again.

Getting Married at 65+ (1)

Donna Brechtfeldt and her husband Steven as children and a married couple.

They say love strikes when you least expect it. And for two SilverSneakers community members, that proved 100 percent true.

Field Boatwright, 77, swore she’d never get married again after losing her husband of 44 years. Donna Brechtfeldt, 74, felt the same way: After losing her spouse, she led a busy life and was content being single in her 60s. But both women ended up falling in love and marrying a second time—and they couldn’t be happier.

Donna’s love story started when she was only 10 months old and first met her now-husband. “During WWII, my mother couldn’t afford to feed me, so I lived with Steven’s family for about a year and a half,” she recalls. They became like brother and sister and then were each other’s first loves. However, after high school, Donna and Steven moved to different cities and lost touch.

In 2008, thanks to Facebook, the pair reconnected. After many emails, phone calls, and tears of joy, Donna relocated from California to Oregon, where Steven was living. “It was as though we were never apart all those decades,” she says. A year and a half later, when they were both in their 70s, they were married. Donna says she immediately fell in love with her husband, even though it felt different from her previous marriage. “Maybe because we already knew each other before, but the love is different,” she says. “At our age, there are no expectations.”

For Field, it took a lot of prodding from a mutual friend until she finally agreed to meet her now-husband John, who escorted her on a weekend trip in Florida. “We met in October and got married the following August,” she says. “We figured, ‘What are we waiting for?’”

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What are the chances of marriage after 65? ›

45 to 54 years – 63% will remarry. 55 to 64 years – 67% will remarry. 65 years and older – 50% will remarry.

What are the odds of getting married after 70? ›

Marriage. At least 9 in 10 adults ages 60 or older have been married. Specifically, 91% of men and 92% of women ages 60 to 69 and 95% of both men and women ages 70 or older have been married. These estimates are much higher than for all men (63%) and women (69%) ages 15 or older.

What are the advantages of getting married at an older age? ›

Maturity Enables Better Problem-Solving: With age comes wisdom, and with experience comes a better understanding of how to work together to accomplish goals together. Older couples tend to have much more experience, understand the challenges that health issues can pose and have a handle on patience and compassion.

Who are more likely to be married at age 65 or older? ›

At every age, the report shows, older men are far more likely to be married than older women. About three-quarters of men ages 65 to 74 are married, compared with 58 percent of women in that age group.

How often do couples over 65 make love? ›

By the age of 45, people have sex an average of 60 times per year, or just over once a week. By age 65, most people have sex around 20 times per year, or less than one time every two weeks.

How often do 70 year old married couples make love? ›

In the New England Journal of Medicine study, though just over a quarter of participants ages 75 to 85 said they had sex in the last year, more than half that group had sex at least two to three times a month. And almost one-quarter of those having sex were doing it once a week — or more.

What are the odds of a woman getting married after 60? ›

By the time a woman is 30, there is about one chance in two she will ever get married and at 40, only one chance in five. By the time she is 50, the chances she will marry are just one in 16, and after 60, her chances drop to one in 62.

At what age do marriages last the longest? ›

Key points
  • Divorce is 50% less likely for someone who is 25 years old when they wed, compared to 20.
  • A study reveals that getting married after one's mid-30s is actually riskier than getting married in one's late 20s.
  • The best age at which to get married appears to be between 28 and 32, according to research.
Jun 1, 2016

How do you know if I'll ever get married? ›

Here are the major signs that you're ready for marriage.
  • You're ready to commit. ...
  • You know (and like) yourself. ...
  • You're able to care for yourself. ...
  • You have realistic expectations. ...
  • You're clear on your life vision. ...
  • You know your essentials and your deal breakers. ...
  • You're not hoping your partner will change.
Oct 17, 2018

What are the disadvantages of getting married at an older age? ›

All disadvantages are nearly related to health conditions. For example, spouses might face baby loss, difficult pregnancy, the risk of HIV infection, and abnormality in children. Besides these, late marriage is also a reason for decreased population growth due to the decline in birth rates.

Are people who marry later in life happier? ›

In a survey of 405 Canadians surveyed at the end of high school and again in early mid-life, those who married at the same age as or later than their peers reported higher levels of happiness and self-esteem—and less depression—than those who married early, according to family ecology researcher Matt Johnson.

Is it better to be married or single in retirement? ›

Research shows that single men and single women in the United States tend to retire later than married couples. One reason is simply financial. Single retirees typically don't have as much retirement savings as married retirees and therefore choose to work longer to catch up on retirement savings.

What does a 65 year old man want in a woman? ›

Single men in their 60s are looking for a woman who is feminine and is willing to help them feel like a man. Many women, including myself, spent most of their lives competing with men – at work, in social situations, and even at home. Now, as we reach our 60s, it's difficult to put our swords down and just relax a bit.

How often do most 60 year olds make love? ›

Frequency of Sex in Older Adults

Females reported having sex an average of 4.68 times per month between the age of 40 to 59, dropping to 1.74 times per month between the age of 60 to 72.

What percentage of 65 year olds are single? ›

This dropped to 25% of men and 17% of women for those 30 to 49 years of age. Things flipped after the 50-year mark, though, with 28% of men 50 to 64 years of age and 25% of men 65 years and older being single compared to 30% and 39% for women for those age categories, respectively.

What do older men want in bed? ›

A lover who is confident in bed.

Men appreciate a woman who understands her own sexuality and for good reason. “Older men want someone who is comfortable in her own skin and who isn't afraid to be intimate,” says licensed sex and marriage therapist, Dr. Kat Van Kirk.

What are the chances of a 65 year old woman finding love? ›

A study from the University of Bath in the U.K. shows that the odds of finding love after 60 are 1 in 562 – but only if you leave meeting the love of your life to fate.

How often should a wife please her husband? ›

According to a research published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, a married couple should get intimate around 51 times a year, which turns out to be once a week, to lead a satisfying and happy life.

What does a 70 year old man want in a woman? ›

Here is what older men want when dating older women:

Smile – Smiling makes people more approachable. Make Him Feel Like a Man – He's not your best girlfriend in pants. Don't Play Games – No one has time for drama. Don't Be Too Serious – A good sense of humor is sexy.

Do older married couples still kiss? ›

38 percent of couples do not kiss passionately at all anymore, but 74 percent of the happiest couples exchange passionate kisses at least once a week. Tip: Kissing bonds partners more deeply.

Can a woman find love at 70? ›

Whether you're 35 or 75, it's never too late to fall madly (or gently and even sacredly) in love. Just ask actress Ellen Burstyn and a host of other women who found themselves in the heat of romance when they least expected it. My mother met the love of her life when she was 84.

Can you fall in love at 65? ›

No one is ever too old to fall in love. And more Americans are remarrying or living together later in life than ever before. This is due, in large part, to increasing life expectancy. According to data from the Social Security Administration, if a man reaches the age of 65 today he can expect to live until about 84.

Can a 67 year old woman find love? ›

If you're a single man or woman over 50 entering the world of mature dating, there's a good chance you haven't dated since you were in your twenties. Don't worry. Finding true love can happen to anyone, at any age.

Is falling in love different when you are older? ›

As you age, your perspective on love changes. The kind of relationship you want often differs from what you desired in your younger years. It's more about finding the right person instead of physical attraction. You're more confident, experienced, and have a better idea of what you want.

What years do most marriages fail? ›

While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

What is the number one cause of divorce? ›

Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%

Which married couple is most likely to get divorced? ›

Usually, second or third marriages in the United States have a higher divorce rate: 60% of second marriages and about 73% of third marriages end in divorce. Couples going through their first divorce are around the age of 30. Married couples between the ages of 20 to 25 are 60% likely to get a divorce.

What makes a man want to get married? ›

Unconditional Love

Back to that thing called love. It's the primary reason why men get married. In fact, in a survey conducted by Pew Research, 93 percent of married people (both men and women) said love was the reason why they got married, and 84 percent of unmarried people want to marry because of love.

What a man needs before marriage? ›

Seven Things Men Should Do Before Marriage
  • Develop a Strong Work Ethic. ...
  • Seek responsibility instead of running from it. ...
  • Develop a Disciplined Financial Plan. ...
  • Prioritize Sexual Purity (both mentally and physically) ...
  • Use your singleness as an opportunity for Service; not for Selfishness. ...
  • Learn how to be a gentleman.
Aug 28, 2020

How do you know when to not get married? ›

8 signs you're not ready to get married, even if you think you might be
  1. You're not willing to compromise. ...
  2. You have trust issues. ...
  3. You're not done "exploring." ...
  4. Someone's always picking a fight. ...
  5. You're keeping secrets. ...
  6. You have an un-confronted addiction. ...
  7. You're in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
Feb 1, 2018

What percentage of widows over 60 remarry? ›

However, when it comes to remarrying after the death of a spouse, there is no set timeline or acceptable wait time. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 61% of widows and widowers eventually choose to remarry.

How long should seniors date before marriage? ›

Twelve months together is the minimum time to invest in your relationship to see what each other is like and start negotiating and communicating at a life partner level. Then once you're betrothed, devote at least a few more months to learning to work through things together.

What age difference is too much for marriage? ›

Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.

Who lives longer married or single woman? ›

Married men and married women live, on average, two years longer than their unmarried counterparts. One reason for this longevity benefit is the influence of marital partners on healthy behaviors.

Do richer people get married younger? ›

When analyzing remarriages of the very wealthy men, they tied the knot with women who were on average an astonishing 22.32 years younger than them. Needless to say, this finding is highly statistically significant when compared to the average age difference for remarriages for the US population (p = 0.002 or p = .

Do late marriages last longer? ›

Studies have shown that there is a “Goldilocks” zone, between ages 28 and 32, where marriages have the highest chance of success. After 32, the likelihood of your marriage ending in divorce increases by approximately 5% per year.

What is the average 401k balance at age 65? ›

Average and median 401(k) balance by age
AgeAverage Account BalanceMedian Account Balance
2 more rows
Jan 20, 2023

What is the average retirement savings for a 65 year old? ›

Retirement Savings When You're in Your 50s & Beyond

Suggested savings: The general guidelines recommend having eight times your annual salary saved by 60. The median income for a 55-year-old is about $63,000, which means having $506,600 saved for retirement. The average savings for those 55-65 is $256,244.

Will I lose my Medicare benefits if I get married? ›

Marriage and Medicare

Your marital status doesn't affect your coverage, so you don't gain or lose coverage by getting married or divorced. (The only thing it really does affect is whether or not you pay a premium for Medicare Part A and how much you pay for your Medicare Part B premium, but we'll get to that later.)

How to satisfy a 65 year old woman? ›

The best way to build a healthy and satisfying sex life during this age is to have a conversation with the partner about how they like to be touched, kissed, sucked, prefer position, penetrated, etc. Also, make her feel comfortable and confident to engage in sexual activities at this age.

What happens to a man's body at 65? ›

What's happening. With age, bones tend to shrink in size and density, weakening them and making them more susceptible to fracture. You might even become a bit shorter. Muscles generally lose strength, endurance and flexibility — factors that can affect your coordination, stability and balance.

What do men over 65 want in a relationship? ›

Most men in their 60s know what they want. They have rich love and life experience that has made them wiser, more thoughtful, and realistic. So, a 60-year-old man will most likely want your friendship, companionship, and attention. Most 60-year-old men look for someone who shares their interests and values.

How many times do 70 year olds make love? ›

Among people in their 70s, a 2015 study1 published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found 33% of sexually active men and 36% of sexually active women had sex at least twice a month. For people in their 80s, 19% of sexually active men and 32% of sexually active women had sex at least twice a month.

What are the odds of a 65 year old man getting married? ›

45 to 54 years – 63% will remarry. 55 to 64 years – 67% will remarry. 65 years and older – 50% will remarry.

How many people over 65 are married? ›

In 2021, a larger percentage of older men (69%) than older women (47%) were married. OF OLDER ADULTS AGE 65+ LIVING IN THE COMMUNITY, 60% LIVED WITH THEIR SPOUSE/PARTNER IN 2021. ABOUT 27% LIVED ALONE. Maine, Florida, West Virginia, and Vermont.

How common is divorce after 65? ›

The 50+ crowd currently makes up a quarter of all divorces and 1 in 10 is 65+.

What percentage of people make it to 60 years of marriage? ›

It saddens me to think that one in two families have a broken home. Upon researching, I found that less than 4 percent of marriages last as long as 60 years.

What does a 65 year old woman want in a relationship? ›

Most aging women seek someone with whom they can share daily lives, laughter, and adventures; a friend and a lover. Also, if you are 60 and up, you are most likely looking for a relationship based on honesty and fidelity, with no drama, addiction, or abuse.

Do people find love after 65? ›

The good news is, there are many seniors who find a new, and perhaps unexpected, romantic spark later in life; sometimes in their 70s, 80s or 90s. Over the past few decade divorce rates have increased, and so has the number of men and women who find love again after a long-term relationship.

How often do married couples over 60 make love? ›

Usually, married couples in their 20s have sex 80 times a year, whereas those in their 60s are likely to engage in sex only about 20 times annually. As you and your partner get older, physical changes may start to occur that can dry up your interest in sex.

Why are so many seniors divorcing? ›

Infidelity and addictions often contribute to the decision to divorce. Spouses seek refuge from mental, emotional, and physical abuse. Betrayal from financial improprieties propels spouses to seek relief.

What is a gray divorce? ›

The number of gray divorces—a common term referring to the separation of “gray-haired” couples over 50—has continued to rise. Not only has the gray divorce rate doubled since 1990, but these “late life” divorces are predicted to triple by 2030.

How long does the average marriage last? ›

The average length of a first marriage in the United States clocks in at seven years. Most of those people get married for a second time, which can also end in divorce. Second marriages have a 60% chance of ending, and third marriages have a 73% chance of divorce. The odds increase the more marriages someone has.

What is the statistically hardest year of marriage? ›

According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.

What year of marriage is divorce most common? ›

While there are numerous divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. During those two high-risk timeframes, two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

How often do 50 year old married couples make love? ›

31 percent of couples have sex several times a week; 28 percent of couples have sex a couple of times a month; and 8 percent of couples have sex once a month. Sadly — or so we thought — 33 percent of respondents said they rarely or never have sex.

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